Friday, May 20, 2016

Raw Truth

I wrote this last week.

I'm tired. A lot has nothing to do with James's protocol, but when life wears me down, it is an added "too much."

And, I worry. I worry that his health seems to be backsliding. He has improved so much since first starting with Dr. Li, but some of the old issues are starting to resurface - GI problems, complaining about breathing, tonsil stones.

And did I mention, I'm tired.

I'm frustrated that we can't successfully remove his antihistamines even though he's been down dosing since October.

Logically, I know he has been taking antihistamines for a decade. It's not surprising it would take some time to remove them.

But, I'm tired of his body being so sensitive and I'm tired of feeling like I'm playing whack-a-mole with problems.

And, that's my raw truth.

I let it sit. Posting on a low is tougher than posting on a high.

I had my consult today. I was reminded of what I already know: he has come so far. This is not a straight line treatment. His immune system is being rebuilt. There is progress he hasn't lost. Now, his treatment needs to change direction to support his digestion.

Am I still tired? A little. Would I like an easy solution? Hell yes!

But, what I have realized with a couple steps back health wise is that the progress made is precious. Even, dare I say it, enough. This is not to stay we're stopping. We're not done yet. But, I am going to stop looking at the endpoint as passing an oral food challenge. If he could eat all his allergens, but had daily hives and diarrhea - what is point?